I remember when...

...I was sitting in the car with my dad in front of Canadian Tire in a parking lot in Grimsby. I can’t remember exactly how old I was but I’m guessing it may have been around the age of 6 because I distinctly remember that I was wearing some of my hockey equipment. I remember when I asked the question. I can’t remember exactly what I asked and to be perfectly honest I don’t remember what the exact answer given was. I do remember that was the day that I consciously made the decision that Jesus needed to be in my life regardless of what I thought that meant at the time.

For any Christian believer, that moment is one that passes in and out of memory but never vanishes from the heart. I am forever tied to that moment in which I acknowledged that by my own strength and my own works I am not good enough. My understanding of the decision that I made that day has grown over the years. I understand what it means to have Jesus Christ in my life. I realize that I am a sinful man in need of the grace that was achieved through the sacrifice that Jesus became. I see what Jesus meant when he said that I must deny myself, take up my cross, and follow him. I know that I often fail miserably at living up to the example that Jesus set for me. I rejoice in the fact that when I do fall down, he picks me up, cleans me up and points me back in the right direction.

If I could go back to that day and tell that much younger version of me all that would transpire over the next 20 or so years, I think that the little boy sitting in that car in his hockey equipment would be amazed at all of the things I’d be able to tell him that God has done in my life. He would probably be startled by many of the things that I have done to make the journey thus far so much more difficult than it has needed to be. I would definitely be embarrassed to have to explain to him some of the things I have done. He would not understand why I did them because he knows them to be wrong.

Undeniably, the hardest and darkest points in my life so far are the points where I have turned my back on Jesus and forgotten about that decision made some 20+ years ago. In those dark times, when I have been wandering lost and unsure of where to turn, that choice I made shines through the darkness like a beacon leading me back to Jesus.

Do you remember when you made the decision to pursue Jesus? If so, I hope that you also never forget it and that in troubled times you can use it to bring you back to a place of peace. If you have never made that decision I can only say that after so many years I would still make the same choice a million times over. I hope you will too.

Mike

Everyone had a good day because I was gone

"One day I was sick and everyone else had a good day because I was gone"

Those are the words a 9 year old boy said to me yesterday. My heart broke for him. I immediately thought of him as a teenager thinking the same thing. A teenager thinking everyone would be happier if I was dead. Then I got angry at the devil. I heard that seed planted in that little boys ear and thought how dare you!

So I acted, carefully. As a supply teacher in the public board I need to be very careful how things are worded. So I thought and spoke -

"You are not a bad kid but you did behave badly"

"I'm not?"

"(Child's name) you have a purpose. A reason why you were born."

"Really?" He asked looking up at me

"There is a job you need to do in your life that only you can do. You never know when or where but one day it will happen"

"I'm supposed to go to school so I can make lots if money and be rich"

"No you go to school so you can learn everything you need to know so one day you can help someone. One day someone will need your help and you need to be ready. When you act how you did today you make it so you can't do the reason why you were born and so it is harder for other people to do the reason they were born"

"Oh, ok, I'm sorry" and out he went for recess as I prayed one day when that voice whispered in his ear again that mine would be louder.

Never Meant To Be Pioneers

Mankind loves to pioneer.  We are always pursuing something, trying to get to new places, attempting to discover the next big thing. We are especially pioneers in our striving for more knowledge through such avenues as science, philosophy and astronomy. Pioneers, in a historical sense, give thought to those who were the first to explore and settle a new country or area. As our world has gotten smaller and we’ve run out of physical space to explore, pioneering has become increasingly focused on being the first to research and develop a new level of knowledge. 

Historically, when pioneering into new frontiers we found a way through that may have been no more than a narrow dirt path. We did not necessarily know where our exploring would take us. When we got to a point that we were satisfied with, we would stop and develop it.  Eventually we would go back to where we came from and make a wider path to allow for easier travel by those who followed after us. Today we have skillfully made highways and expressways that allow large amounts of traffic to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible. We have become very talented at creating these paths.

Man’s pursuit for knowledge began a long time ago when, in Genesis 3:6-7, we chose the desire of gaining wisdom over the desire to be in an intimate relationship with God. When that fruit passed into the body of man it opened up our eyes to knowledge that we were never meant to concern ourselves with.  Mankind began our journey away from that place of relationship with God, both physically and spiritually. We were never meant to be pioneers.

Our path of the pursuit of knowledge has become a series of wide and well paved roads. It has become very easy to pursue information and to come to theoretical and/or practical understanding of that which we seek. The issue with these roads is that they never come to a place that we are satisfied with. We keep building and developing these roads; and yet we never actually discover where they are leading to. We have come up with theories and hypotheses and we have tested them using the "knowledge" we have gained from our other theories and hypotheses. We boast, “Look how far we have come on our own! Look how much knowledge we have attained!” Science can come up with many theories of HOW everything we see and feel and are came to be. No form of science can even attempt to answer the questions of WHY we are here.  

I’m not saying that knowledge is bad. Knowledge is part of God’s creation and it includes the knowledge of good and evil. The issue is when knowledge has been vainly pursued after rather than given and when knowledge becomes an idol that we replace God with.  God gave Solomon “wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding” in 1 Kings 4:29 and it was good and Godly knowledge.  However, Ecclesiastes 1:16-18 describes the pursuit of understanding and wisdom as chasing after the wind and full of sorrow and grief. When we pursue wisdom and knowledge but fail to pursue the Creator of wisdom and knowledge then our path is a vain and endless one that leads nowhere.

If I am to have any knowledge and understanding, I want it to be from God and not found through my own pursuit. In Colossians 2:2-3, Paul says that it is in Jesus Christ that God has hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.  Those who are hunting for the treasures of knowledge and understanding anywhere else will never find what they are looking for. The roads may look nice and be easy to travel upon but they ultimately lead to darkness and despair.

Mike